Event recap: Caddyshack Edition

Wow, what a race! This year’s Mac Tools U.S. Nationals presented by Lucas Oil had everything from great, side-by-side racing to competitive and personal drama that probably made for a wildly captivating ESPN2 telecast. At the suggestion of Kevin McKenna, I will recap NHRA Full Throttle Drag Racing's version of The Masters with quotes from an all-time classic movie: Caddyshack.
 

I probably could have made this post much, much longer if I gave myself the time, because there are no shortage of memorable quotes. The classic golf comedy that did wonders for the careers of Bill Murray, Rodney Dangerfield, and Chevy Chase is a must-see for those who haven’t already. It’s also part of the following, quintessential golf joke:

What’s the best movie about golf? Caddyshack!

What’s the worst movie about golf? Caddyshack 2.

You're rather attractive for a beautiful girl with a great body.
Finalists Tony Schumacher and Larry Dixon are two of the most decorated drivers in Top Fuel history. As tough as they are week-in and week-out, they overshadow their peers even more when they come to Indy. The two drivers have swept the decade in Indy wins with Schumacher getting the much larger portion with eight wins to Larry’s two.

[tees off] Four!
[his ball hits Judge Smails in the crotch]
I should have yelled, "Two!"
Spencer Massey used a holeshot to take down No. 1 qualifier and Top Fuel points leader Antron Brown in the first round, 3.88 to 3.87. That had to hurt.

Whoa, did somebody step on a duck?
Massey’s day ended in an ugly semifinal bout with Larry Dixon in which he was late off the line after almost double-stepping it, and he didn’t have a car to get down and take advantage of Dixon’s issues. In the other pair in the semi’s, Brandon Bernstein’s team gave one away when they were unable to capitalize on Brandon’s huge holeshot because they lost traction.

I'm going to give you a little advice. There's a force in the universe that makes things happen. And all you have to do is get in touch with it, stop thinking, let things happen, and be the ball.
Ashley Force Hood has dealt with a lot of grief about her reaction times. She’s followed the advice of crew chiefs Dean Antonelli and Ron Douglas in not putting too much into it, and she had what was perhaps her best day on the starting line with four lights between .061 and .085.

You've got to win this hole.
I kinda thought winning wasn't important
Me winning isn't. You do.
Great grammar.
Robert Hight had to beat his boss John Force in the semifinals to qualify for the Countdown to 1. I’ll leave it at that.

I have to laugh, because I've outsmarted even myself. My enemy, my foe, is an animal. In order to conquer the animal, I have to learn to think like an animal and, whenever possible, to look like one. I've gotta get inside this guy's pelt and crawl around for a few days.
Tony Pedregon has gotten under the skin of John Force. The current philosophical issues and past personal issues came to a head at the top end after the semifinal round in Funny Car with the two engaging in a heated verbal exchange. Pedregon historically fares well against his old boss and his drivers, so maybe the current quarrel will also have an affect of Tony getting further into the heads of the four usually unshakable JFR drivers.

I thought you'd be the man to beat this year.
I guess you'll just have to keep beating yourself.
Mike Edwards was “the man” all weekend but ended the weekend on his own accord when he red-lighted against eventual winner Jeg Coughlin in the semifinals.

Cinderella story. Outta nowhere. A former greenskeeper, now, about to become the Masters champion.
The most popular bet in the Top Alcohol Funny Car class was Frank Manzo against the field, but Bobby Martin stepped to the front of the pack with a No. 1 qualifying position on Friday and kept the ball rolling for the biggest win of his career. Martin chased his dream for several years with him and his wife making great sacrifices to run a low-buck operation on sponsor money alone before getting the chance of a lifetime behind the wheel of Frank and Dan Parker’s ride. The Parkers won Indy with Jeff Craig driving in 2003. Martin notched his first win in Norwalk last season and now belongs among the immortals by winning Indy.

It’s in the hole! It’s in the hole! It’s in the hole!
Hector Arana wasn’t able to capitalize on the Ringers Gloves Pro Bike Battle due to a costly red-light in the final, but the popular rider of the Lucas Oil Products Pro Stock Motorcycle was prompt with a .021 in the final to get his first Indy win.

(Quick aside: When my dad raced, our crew chief, Tom Matthews, threw Caddyshack quotes around and would usually throw his hands up while exclaiming, “It’s in the hole!” when the car got pushed into the trailer at the end of the night.)

So we finish the 18th and he’s gonna stiff me. And I say, "Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know." And he says, "Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness." So I got that goin' for me, which is nice.
Greg Stanfield didn’t get the Indy win despite an incredible effort for a driver/engine builder whose team is running on fumes and faces uncertainty for next year. The team was one-thousandth away from being a true Cinderella story against Jeg Coughlin, but they got the attention of most with their effort.

You know, you should play with Dr. Beeper and myself. I mean, he's been club champion for three years running and I'm no slouch myself.
Don't sell yourself short, Judge; you're a tremendous slouch.
Past performance was not an indicator of success in Pro Stock this year. Warren and Kurt Johnson, with a respective six and two Indy wins, failed to qualify. Five-time winner Greg Anderson fell in the first round.

I want a hamburger. No, cheeseburger. I want a hot dog. I want a milkshake. I want potato chips
You'll get nothing, and like it!
Joe Hartley, Cruz Pedregon, Matt Hagan, Warren Johnson, and Steve Johnson will all be reduced to the spoiler role after Indy when after failing to get into the Countdown to 1.

Well, that’s it. It’s been a great Indy, and I appreciate all the feedback about the blogs. Now the real work of putting the results of the event together for print begins. I’m also headed to the AC/DC concert at the Honda Center directly from John Wayne Airport tomorrow night, so I’ll be a busy boy. Time to hit the “post” button and leave the press room, so you know what I’ll be saying…

IT’S IN THE HOLE!
 

Daily recap: Big Lebowski Edition

I have to make this brief. I’m not going to miss Connie Kalitta get roasted; can you blame me? Tonight’s recap of Sunday’s event will be expressed in the form of quotes from the cult classic The Big Lebowski, a personal favorite. Go ahead and read forth, unless you're into the whole brevity thing. After all, “The Dude abides."

The tale of Jeffrey “the Dude” Lebowski is a case of mistaken identity gone awry with one of the most endearingly slacker characters in cinematic history played by Jeff Bridges finding himself in the middle of a kidnapping situation. The Coen brothers classic is chock-full of political undertones, bowling pins, Creedence Clearwater Revival, and white Russians.

I'm throwing rocks tonight. Mark it, Dude.
A couple of drivers threw some serious strikes today. Antron Brown ran the second-fastest speed of the 1,000-foot era while taking the No. 1 spot in Top Fuel. Matt Smith really laid one down with a 6.91 to take the pole in Pro Stock Motorcycle.

3,000 years of beautiful tradition, from Moses to Sandy Koufax... You’re damn right I’m living in the past!
John Force Racing has taken it’s fair share of lumps, but the historically-dominant team kept pressing forward with performances like they had in qualifying. Robert Hight, Ashley Force Hood, Mike Neff, and John Force qualified in spots Nos. 1, 2, 3, and 5, with Cruz Pedregon breaking them up at the No. 4 spot.

The old man told me to take any rug in the house.
Pulling one over on people of wealth is something that Jim Dunn has done for a long time. He grabbed everyone’s attention when he tuned Jerry Toliver, he of two round-wins this season, to a fantastic 4.11 in the final session to get in the top half. Dunn’s wife, Dianne, mentioned that “Big Jim” really puts a lot of emphasis into the Indy and Pomona races.

Good night, sweet prince.
The bids to get in the Countdown to 1 ended for drivers Joe Hartley and Warren Johnson with their DNQs. Kurt Johnson’s 61-race qualifying streak also came to an end. For the first time since I-don’t-know-when, the race day field in Pro Stock is without a Johnson.

You want a toe? I can get you a toe, believe me. There are ways, Dude. You don't wanna know about it, believe me.
Kenny Bernstein is a certified marketing genius, but I don’t know how he was able to put together a big sponsorship package in the economic times we’re living in. With bad news like the announcement from Don Prudhomme yesterday, it’s nice to see new companies being brought into the sport.

Forget it, Donny. You’re out of your element!
Pro Stock engine builders who are not employed by Mike Edwards aren’t quite in the same ballpark as the No. 1 qualifier.

I could be just sitting at home with pee stains on my rug.
Being in a Funny Car explosion might cause one to reconsider their life’s path. Bob Bode and Bob Tasca III had some boomers during the final session.

You may think I mailed this one in. Well, that’s just, like, your opinion, man. I’ll be back tomorrow with some more bloggin’ and an event recap as relayed to you by lines from everybody’s favorite movie about golf.

The Good, Bad, and Ugly of Independent Funny Car drivers at Indy

As I was putting together my profiles of the five (closer to 4.5 with Brian Thiel’s absence since Friday) independent Funny Car drivers at this event when one such pilot, Bob Bode, endured a massive explosion during the final qualifying session that led me to chasing down the Chicagoan for details. Bode can now say that he’s experienced something few drag racers have: 79 vertical G’s.

Bode was sailing along on a pass that may have gotten him into the show when either a pushrod or adjuster screw failed in his drivetrain and caused an exhaust valve to hang open. The flame from the still-burning nitromethane in the exhaust was able to travel back into the intake manifold and light the air/fuel mixture, causing a supercharger explosion that blew the carbon fiber body to pieces in an instant from the concussion.

“I was going along on a good, fun ride, then, all of a sudden: daylight,” Bode recalled. “The bouncing the car did scared me more than the percussion. I was hoping the body stayed in one piece and landed softly back on the track, but that obviously didn’t happen.”

Crew chief Walt Pryzbyl, who runs the car along with tuner Richard Hogan, noted that the car achieved 79 vertical G’s after the explosion according to the readings of their Ford Blue Box. Bode was able to safely bring the bouncing roller to a stop.

“Our car is finally running consistent, and we’re still going to try to run Charlotte,” said Bode. “Tim Wilkerson has a couple bodies for sale, so we’ll try and figure something out. It might all depend on how much damage was actually done to the motor to see what we can afford at this point.”

Despite not qualifying, Bode found a way to get some t.v. time. An ugly end to Bode’s weekend didn’t reflect the efforts of nontouring Funny Car drivers as a whole. Jim Head and Grant Downing both made the field. Head’s inclusion on race day should come as no surprise. The veteran driver, who has won this event in both fuel classes, qualified No. 12 with his spiffy, Banshie Studios-painted entry.

Downing’s effort marks only the third successful qualifying effort of his career (all this season) and his first such effort with more than 16 entries present. The run that got him in the show was the first that he made to the 1,000-foot mark this season after going through a slew of blower belt problems. Downing had to drive the wheels of his Silver Fern Racing entry to keep it off the centerline after dropping a cylinder, but the New Zealand transplant managed to keep it lit for a 4.23 at 283 mph.

The Silver Fern theme is a tradition among Kiwi athletes who put an image of the New Zealand national flower on their backs when they compete outside of their country. Though Downing and wife Lynne, a registered nurse, compete on their own dollar, they received help at this event from Classic City Auto in Auburn, Ind., and former Del Worsham backers Walery’s Pizza (Dave Walery) and Wible Realty (Bruce Scranage).

Downing’s Worsham connection comes from his longstanding employment as the exclusive chassis builder for Worsham and, now, the Alan Johnson/Al-Anabi Racing Funny Car team. Chuck Worsham is calling the shots on Downing’s car, and longtime friend Ashley McKean leads the all-volunteer team. The humorous individuals have such slogans such as the pictured poster taped onto one of the trailer cabinets. Downing is very well-liked among his peers, which includes first-round opponent Robert Hight, who often trades parts to Downing in exchange for fabrication work. Just don’t ask Grant if his accent is Australian.

Justin Schriefer (pictured) didn’t have as good a weekend as Head and Downing. However, the hardworking driver is happy to be able to make laps in the big show with Dale Creasy Sr.’s Creasy Family Racing Funny Car. Schriefer, who also races a ’70 Challenger in the Top Sportsman class at Route 66 Raceway in Chicago, is the classic story of a longtime crewmember who worked all the way up from wiping tires to the driver’s seat.

Schriefer, who works in the excavating profession in Chicago, went to Creasy’s house in 1990 to purchase a Hemi engine and ended up going to a race with his team and getting hooked on nitro racing. Schriefer began doing grunt work and has done the clutch and the bottom-end at different points.

“Dale mentioned something to me about driving a few years ago, and I jumped at the chance to make some licensing runs in Las Vegas in 2006,” said Schriefer. “John and Ashley Force signed my first licensing run, and J.R. Todd and Eric Medlen signed off my second run. I have pictures of everyone who signed my license, including one of Eric when he signed it on the hood of his car.”

Schriefer, Creasy, and co. have been learning the ins and outs of their Ty Baumgartner-built Funny Car that they debuted this season. Although the final result wasn’t what they were looking for, they were able to pinpoint an ignition problem that had been plaguing them for two events. Schriefer is a diehard racer through and through who puts some of his personal money into the racing operation. With his grit and enthusiasm, look for him to keep improving and possibly upsetting touring Pros on the NHRA Full Throttle Drag Racing Series.

Brian Thiel is the last remaining part-timer to be mentioned in this blog. A disagreement between he and car owner Paul Smith led to Thiel walking away from the operation on Saturday morning and severing his working relationship with Smith and his team. I won’t go into detail, only because I have not heard Thiel’s side of the story.

Thiel is a wildly successful rice farmer whose home track is Infineon Raceway. He was a college football player for the Nebraska Cornhuskers in his earlier days. His plans for next year include running the entire 24-race circuit with a nitro Funny Car that he will own while keeping his Top Alcohol Funny Car for his wife to learn to drive.

I'll give my tired eyes a hiatus from the computer screen before I post the daily recap in movie quotes, which has become something of a semi-sensation among my 10s and 10s of readers.

Daily Recap: Pulp Fiction Edition

Once again, I’m bringing you the daily recap of the event in the form of movie quotes. The movie of the day is the ever-popular Pulp Fiction, the 1994 cultural sensation that revived John Travolta’s career and propelled director Quentin Tarantino to superstardom.

Though it’s one of the more quotable movies I know, it was somewhat difficult to scour for lines that did not include m.f.s or other unsavory language (basically, nothing that came out of the mouth of Samuel L. Jackson’s character Jules). My favorite character is Harvey Keitel’s fast-talking problem solver Winston Wolfe, a.k.a. “the Wolf.” Apologies to Top Alcohol Funny Car driver and Pulp Fiction fanatic Mickey Ferro are in order, for Mickey’s crew dubs him “the Wolf” for solving problems on the starting line.
 

Let's get down to brass tacks, gentlemen. If I was informed correctly, the clock is ticking. Is that right, Jimmie?
Both Joe Hartley and Clay Millican will be battling for the last four spots in the Top Fuel field tomorrow while battling each other for the last spot in the Countdown to 1. Millican has a scant three-point lead over Hartley, and Hartley must get in the show to have any chance. Both teams tested one week ago, Millican with Brian Corradi and Mark Oswald on-hand to help friend Lance Larsen sort out his car.

Nobody's gonna hurt anybody. We're gonna be like three little Fonzies here. And what's Fonzie like? Come on, Yolanda, what's Fonzie like? “He’s cool.” Correctamundo!
The three Funny Car teams battling for No. 10 (Robert Hight, Cruz Pedregon, and Matt Hagan) are all in the show at Nos. 1, 6, and 11. Despite a great deal of pressure for each team to perform, they all kept their respective heads during the first two days of qualifying to likely delay the conclusion of their respective fates until Monday.

That's how you're gonna beat 'em, Butch. They keep underestimating you.
Does any contending car in Top Fuel get looked past more than Cory McClenathan’s Fram Tough Guard dragster? Cory Mac continues to lay down strong run after strong run, and winning the biggest race of the year might be the potent punch that knocks his fellow title contenders into a daze.

I ain't through with you by a damn sight. I'ma get medieval on your ass.
Way down on the sheets heading into the third session, Tony Schumacher proved a point with a strong 3.85 that propelled him up the ladder and gave him a launch pad for an Indy title defense. After getting the wrong end of close race after close race in recent months, it’s time for “the Sarge” to reach the winner’s circle again where he has done it so many times before.

Every time my fingers touch brain, I'm Superfly T.N.T. – I'm the Guns of the Navarone!
My mistake. The count is TWO Sam Jackson quotes with no swearing.

The enraged Jules in Pulp Fiction mirrors the four John Force Racing teams whenever they feel backed into a corner. The JFR entries are qualified 1-2-3-4 at the end of the day despite having to band together to fill the void of an absent Austin Coil.

I do believe Marsellus Wallace, my husband, your boss, told you to take ME out and do WHATEVER I WANTED. Now I wanna dance, I wanna win. I want that trophy, so dance good.
There must be a significant amount of pressure on Dickie Venables to perform. He was hired to tune Alan Johnson’s Del Worsham-driven Funny Car one race before the start of the Countdown to 1 even though incumbent Aaron Brooks had been doing a decent job. Venables is expected to lead this team to the next level, and he is doing a fine job so far by tuning Worsham to the No. 5 spot with a 4.10.

I tell you what now between me and you. There is no me and you. Not no more.
In a surprise turn, the relationship between rookie Funny Car shoe Brian Thiel, who plans to run the entire 2009 tour, and Paul Smith dissolved this morning. Smith is considering putting the car through technical inspection tomorrow to run with son Mike behind the wheel.

Look, go to the fridge and get the thing with the O.D. adrenalin shot.
This goes out to every Pro Stock driver who is not Mike Edwards. Edwards has used his horsepower to dominate every Pro Stock session. Barring a lapse on the starting line, the brains in the Pro Stock pits are going to have to go for broke to keep up with the man from Coweta, Okla.

Spoken like a true prodigy. How about you, Lash LaRue? You think you can keep your spurs from jinglin' and janglin'?
We all knew Andrew Hines would rise to the occasion in the final round of the Ringers Gloves Pro Bike Battle due to his two previous wins in such occasions, not to mention his three world titles. No. 1 seed Hector Arana, on the other hand, is one of the class’ premier riders with the exception of his performance on the starting line. We all knew he had the bike to win and the talent to get the most out of it, but all eyes were in his lane when the three ambers came down. Unfortunately, Arana left too soon and gave it away to the accomplished Hines.

Check out the big brain on Brett!
I thought the line was “Check out the big brain on Brad” during my initial viewing of this film. That’s it for the day. It’s time to reward my hard work with a Royale with Cheese. That’s thirty minutes away; I’ll be there in 10.

The ABCs of Top Fuel Independents

As a reporter and a racing fan, I have to admit that I’m a sucker for underdog stories. One of the beautiful things about the Mac Tools U.S. Nationals presented by Lucas Oil is the abundance of independent teams that show up to take a shot at winning on the grandest stage. In an effort to bring you a Reader’s Digest version of this year’s crop of underfunded entries with oversized hearts, I compiled an ABC list of nontouring competitors in Top Fuel.

A is for August. Ron August Jr. made his Professional-class debut behind the wheel of Mitch King’s dragster. August is a Division 7 Top Alcohol Funny Car driver with a national event win to his credit. His agreement with King is a one-race deal that may extend to the Las Vegas and Pomona events. If he indeed drives at those races, he will also be alternating duties with the Top Fueler and his own TAFC, which he also tunes. August’s efforts are sponsored by Lescure Company, Inc., a complete mechanical services company from California’s Bay Area that specializes in HVAC and new construction. 

The car he’s driving is a brand-new McKinney-built dragster that is a twin to teammate Del Cox Jr.’s entry. Paul Smith does the tuning on both. August got to know Smith while beginning the licensing process in Mike Strasburg’s Top Fueler in Salt Lake City earlier this summer, and he completed the feat at O’Reilly Raceway Park a week ago Wednesday with three full runs. King crewmember and sometimes-photographer Chris Graves was kind enough to shoot the pictured photo of August for me.

In the interest of full disclosure, I’m close with Ron and his family, and I wrench on his TAFC during my off weekends. Ron is a fun guy at 45 years old, and he has parlayed his success in racing and running the family business (California Air, which works with Lescure on some projects and is currently involved in the building of new schools) into the pursuit of a round-win in the fuel classes, the last of seven life goals he wrote down for himself when he was 18 that he has left to accomplish. Winning a round might be an ambitious feat in this field, but he’s realistic enough to know what a big accomplishment it would be to qualify.

His father, Ron Sr., is unable to hide his wide smile despite his hardass persona. “Senior” sold a Funny Car that he built for himself in the late-60s before he ever got to drive it so that he could start the family business, and seeing his son make passes in a fueler because of the sacrifices he made for his family would make any father gleam with pride. Ron Jr.’s 9-year-old son Christian is also proud of pops, and he’s even waived his longstanding Funny Car preference to favor his dad’s flamed dragster.

B is for Buff. Troy Buff doesn’t want to outright say that team owner/crew chief Bill Miller is using the biggest race of the year as a test session, but the driver from Spring, Texas, is happy to oblige himself as Miller’s Chuck Yeager. Well, maybe not “happy” per se, but Buff is a good soldier.

“Bill is doing some things to try and pick the car up on the back half where it was a little weak,” explained Buff. “The car started to nose over on the first run and burnt a piston right before I shut off. I shut off at the 330 on the second run even though it felt like it was on a great pass. That was really hard to do, but Bill told me to so I did it.”

The BME/Okuma team may have something for the series regulars if Miller’s theories pan out.

C is for Cox. Del Cox Jr. is taking a race off from fighting for his championship life opposite Bruce Litton in the IHRA series to compete in the most prestigious race of the year in Top Fuel for the first time. Cox has qualified in all four previous attempts this season in Mitch King’s RG Industries/Bexar Waste dragster. The former NHRA Jr. Drag Racing League competitor took over the seat formerly occupied by his good friend Spencer Massey.

Cox fared well while racing in the Top Dragster and Top Sportsman classes in the Division 7 ranks before he moved up to Top Alcohol Dragster last season. Cox became one of few A/Fuel dragster drivers to possess a 280-mph time slip when he posted big speeds in Curt Schendel’s Javid Marusich-tuned entry. Cox received his license upgrade in the minimum two runs in Las Vegas this preseason and has done well ever since. His grandfather, Toad, has been a great supporter of his racing efforts throughout his young career.

D is for Dakin. Pat Dakin competed at this event for the first time in 1971 and scored his first of two career round-wins at this event in 1995 by defeating Connie Kalitta in the first round. The veteran from Dayton, Ohio, got out of racing for several years after a nasty blowover in 1998 but returned to the saddle in one of Mitch King’s entries last season and qualified for the U.S. Nationals.

Dakin ran an impressive 3.88 at 315 mph in the third session to make the top 12. That run was quite a comeback from a troubled Friday morning run in which Dakin broke a crankshaft shortly after the hit and oiled the lane.

Dakin reunited most of his old racing pals to field his current entry, which was put together by Scott “Scoots” Graham after a conversation over 18 holes of golf. Graham had put together a complete operation with ample spares for Dakin’s brother, Mike, that was to be driven by Mike’s son, Chris. However, the declining economy prompted Mike to let his new operation sit idle, and Pat’s renewed enthusiasm gave Graham another project to put together this season.

F is for Fuller. “Hot Rod” Fuller grabbed everybody’s attention last night when he drove Bob Vandergriff Jr.’s untested McAllister Caterpillar entry up toward the top of the qualifying sheet with a 3.88 at 310 mph. We all know the story of the Sportsman-standout-turned-Top Fuel hitter who is clawing his way back onto the full-time circuit after the David Powers/Tim Buckley team folded unexpectedly this offseason. If he can extend his stellar showing late in Monday, the Las Vegas-based driver may come closer to doing just that.

H is for Haddock. People accustomed to seeing Terry Haddock on the tour might have had to take a second look at him at this race. His team was decked out in new uniforms, and his car sported a new look courtesy of versatile, painter-extraordinaire Brian Olsen. It’s difficult for a gritty, all-volunteer team like Haddock’s to prioritize a professional appearance when so much effort is required to get from race to race, but Haddock made a worthy and effective effort.

Doing a lot with a little is something Haddock learned from mentor Paul Smith in his earlier days, and the lessons continue to this day with the help of friend Gary Densham. Densham is on-hand preparing Haddock’s Funny Car for a match race in Martin, Mich. Next week as well as providing a sounding board for Haddock, who calls the shots on his own dragster.

Haddock’s dragster is showing more promise than it has all season with improved early numbers. Last night, Haddock ran a career-best .835 to 60 feet and followed with a very competitive 2.15 to the 330-foot mark before a pesky blower belt snapped. Haddock is excited by what he’s found in his dragster, and he could prove to be a worthy dark horse.

L is for Litton. Most teams have shops in Brownsburg, Ind., and consider ORP the home track. No driver is more at home than Bruce Litton, though, whose shop is literally right across the street. Crew chief Richard Hartman said that they have tested at ORP before by literally towing their dragster from the shop to the waterbox and adding the wings once they reached the staging lanes.

Hartman has spent several years as Litton’s crew chief and also as the tuner of Andy Kelley’s Funny Car after an eventful driving career. Though he loves being able to make a living in drag racing, Hartman admits that the driving bug still eats at him.

“I want to drive really bad,” said Hartman. “It’s an easy decision, though. I didn’t even get paid in my last couple of rides, and it’s hard to do it on your own dime. I might be able to drive for the Kelleys for a race or two, and I get to make laps in a Nostalgia Funny Car to keep the urge under control.

Hartman has tuned Litton to impressive results thus far this weekend considering that it is their first season with a thicker-tubed chassis as per NHRA specifications, and it’s the ebst racetrack they have competed on all season with the setup.

N is for Novelli. Luigi Novelli spent the day licking his wounds after a disastrous Friday night run in which his dragster broke a crankshaft and erupted into a huge fireball downtrack. The veteran racer, who is dubbed “the Rodfather” due to his Italian-American heritage, decided to use his resources wisely and sit out Saturday qualifying in hopes to put forth his best effort on Sunday.

Novelli’s first U.S. Nationals was in 1972, where he lost to Tony Nancy in the opening round. He qualified No. 21 in 1978 and lost to “Big Daddy” Don Garlits in the opener. His last race day start in Indy was in 1979 in yet another 32-car field; Novelli qualified on the bump and lost to Johnny Abbott. Novelli took a racing hiatus from 1981 to 1994, and he has yet to crack the top 16 at the Big Go.

“Qualifying at Indy is something I’d like to do one more time before I quit,” said Novelli. “I feel great, and work is still going good. As long as I’m able to make a little money, I’ll keep coming out here.”

Z is for Zizzo. T.J. Zizzo is hungry to earn his first round-win since Peak Antifreeze came onboard as a sponsor a few years back, and he is staying busy at this race mingling with fans and doing sponsor-related activities with Peak and track title sponsor O'Reilly Auto Parts.

Zizzo updated his dragster by parting with his second-generation Alan Johnson heads that he bought from Shirley Muldowney and installing AJPE-5 heads that he bought used from Kalitta Motorsports. Between the new heads and a new camshaft with a different profile, tuners Mike Kern and Tony Smith did well to figure it out quickly enough to run a 3.94 in last night's session.

"By switching heads, we went from the 1990s to the 2000s," said Zizzo, who runs a small body shop with father Tony. "We tested in Cordova, Ill., last weekend, but this is all mostly new to us. We had it so overtuned at the start of the weekend that we backed it down a bunch before last night's run, so I was pleasantly surprised it ran that number."

Zizzo, who battled current Top Alcohol Dragster hitter Marty Thacker in the UDRA ranks prior to racing in Top Fuel, prides himself in his team's professionalism in spite of being a very low-dollar operation. His team has fared well under the guide of crew chiefs Kern, whose father drove the Chicago Fire fuel altered, and Smith, a dedicated Zizzo crewmember of 18 years. They learned the nitro craft from initial influences Tim Wilkerson and former crew chief Dave Settles.

Tomorrow, I'll bring you the ABCs of Funny Car independents.

Friday Recap: Anchorman Edition

The second day of action at the Mac Tools U.S. Nationals presented by Lucas Oil provided some memorable moments during the first session of qualifying in the Professional classes, and I chose to express my daily recaps through the majesty of movie quotes. Few movies are as quotable as the Will Ferrell vehicle Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy, so let’s get this party started. (movie quotes in bold)

It's a formidable scent... Stings the nostrils... In a good way.
Thursday at the Mac Tools U.S. Nationals presented by Lucas Oil is typically a long day that builds a great amount of anticipation for the first, distinctive whiff of nitromethane. Nitro is an addicting fragrance that is never denied, unlike the fictional Sex Panther cologne which boasts the motto: “60-percent of the time, it works every time.”

I don't know how to put this, but I'm kind of a big deal.
Antron Brown is the big man on campus this year in Top Fuel. So what? Larry Dixon has four wins and five final round appearances in the last five races if you discount the Western Swing, and the Alan Johnson/Al-Anabi Racing team added to its growing swagger with a No. 1 qualifying effort to start off the event. Not a bad way to impress the Sheikh.

Great Odin's raven!
Half of the top 12 spots in Top Fuel are comprised of nontouring drivers looking to make their mark at the Big Go. Rod Fuller was the best of the bunch, driving Bob Vandergriff Jr.’s Caterpillar entry into the No. 3 spot with a 3.88 that held as No. 1 for most of the session. Bruce Litton, Troy Buff, Del Cox Jr., legendary Chris “the Greek” Karamesines, and Terry Haddock are also giving hope for the little guys.

We need you. Hell, I need you. I'm a mess without you. I miss you so damn much. I miss being with you, I miss being near you. I miss your laugh. I miss your scent; I miss your musk. When this all gets sorted out, I think you and me should get an apartment together.
Robert Hight was only separated from crew chief Jimmy Prock for one race, but they reconnected here because of the medical circumstances with Austin Coil with one shot left to get into the Countdown to 1. The Prock Rocket went straight to No. 1 with a 4.10 at 305 mph. It could be a long weekend for 10th-place combatants Matt Hagan and Cruz Pedregon.

Ladies and gentlemen, can I please have your attention. I've just been handed an urgent and horrifying news story. I need all of you, to stop what you're doing and listen. Cannonball!
As exciting as the first round of Pro Stock qualifying session was, the conclusion was exactly the same as it has been in most instances this season. Mike Edwards made a nice run and used the horsepower made from his Charlotte-based engine shop to lead the pack once again.

I'm a man who discovered the wheel and built the Eiffel Tower out of metal and brawn. That's what kind of man I am.
It’s human nature for a man to want to prove his mettle after experiencing a setback. Pro Stock’s Allen Johnson suffered a surprise DNQ in Reading two weeks ago, but he made sure that wasn’t going to happen again when his Hemi propelled him to a fine 6.64 that held as No.1 until he was bumped to No. 4 in the final two pairs.

What? You pooped in the refrigerator? And you ate the whole wheel of cheese? How'd you do that? Heck, I'm not even mad; that's amazing.
Ron Burgundy’s fictional mutt, Baxter, is amazing indeed, so I hope comparing him with the No. 1 ranked driver in the Ringers Gloves Pro Bike Battle is taken as the compliment for which it’s intended. Nobody knows quite how Hector Arana keeps making amazing happen on the Lucas Oil Buell V-Twin during qualifying, but his adversaries voice few complaints about the likable veteran. With help from Larry Morgan on the engines and a lot of grit and experience, Arana has been downright impressive with his runs, his riding (even though his lights leave something to be desired), and his continued progress.

Knights of Columbus, that hurt!
The crowd was impressed when Karen Stoffer lit up the scoreboard with a 6.95 at 196 mph, which would have been the third-fastest speed in Pro Stock Motorcycle history had it been a legit time. Shawn Gann had red-lighted by a bunch in the other lane and tripped the beams in her lane when he took out a cone at the top end. It was too bad for Stoffer, because she was on a great pass in the 6.96-to-6.98 range as evidenced by her stellar 1.05 60-foot time and her incremental times after that. Stoffer sighed it off with a positive twist. Said Stoffer, “Something crazy always happens to us in Indy. The way I look at it, at least it’s over and done with on the first day.”

He had a voice that could make a wolverine purr and suits so fine they made Sinatra look like a hobo.
Although his time in competition ended on Thursday in his Stock eliminator debut, nobody commands respect at O’Reilly Raceway Park at Indianapolis like the legendary “Big Daddy” Don Garlits. His presence alone adds prestige to the biggest event of the year.

Prepare yourselves for an exciting day of racing on Saturday. More importantly: stay classy, Indianapolis. I’m Brad Littlefield?
 

Alcohol, Tequila, Cold Liquid, Payne, Twins, and the like

The day is long, and I’m feeling bloggy. I knew I was spry when I readied myself for the day and met my coworkers at the continental breakfast 10 minutes past our scheduled rendezvous time (I usually run 15-20 minutes late). I needed that energy and that omelet to fuel myself for a marathon day of shaking hands and engaging racers in conversation about the fine art of going really, really fast.

It wouldn’t feel like a big event if my weekend didn’t start by leaving tickets at will call for closely knit individuals with puppy-dog eyes. Shanna Snyder-Bell (sister and PR gal of Top Alcohol Funny Car driver Mick Snyder) was a fellow line-stander who graciously gave me a golf cart ride to the alcohol pits where I exchanged pleasantries with my Midwest mom (Bev Snyder). Northeast mom Michele Manzo was next on my list of people to see. It takes a village to raise an associate editor.

Anyway, I listed some notes from my beloved alky classes.

I’ll drink to that: Few people were as anxious to swap feet for the first time at this race as Alexis DeJoria (pictured). She hadn’t driven the Tequila Patron Top Alcohol Funny Car since her top-end incident in Englishtown this June in which her parachutes were ripped from her race car at the end of a 260 mph run and her car hit the sand trap at a very high rate of speed.  

“I’ve seen tape of the crash one too many times,” said DeJoria, as she tended to 6-year-old daughter Isabella, who was restless in the backseat of their tow vehicle in the staging lanes. “Nick [Bastiao, fiancé] and I went on a cruise, and the timing was perfect because I would have gone crazy sitting at home while all these races I was missing were going on."

The cruise she is referring to took place on the Italian Mediterranean. Shortly after her accident, she was informed by family members who were going on the fully-booked cruise that Roger Daltrey of legendary rock band The Who and his plus-one had to cancel, opening up spots for her and Nick.

The first runs in her new, S&W Race Cars-built Ford Mustang were made with checkout laps in Atco, N.J. prior to the race, and she opened up with a 5.71 that currently has her at No. 11 on the qualifying standings after two sessions. Crew chief Bob Newberry, who won the 50th anniversary of this race as a driver in 2004, mentioned that extra safety features were built into this car that are not mandatory by the NHRA Rulebook. DeJoria’s svelte frame (as compared to, um, stockier contemporaries like Frank Manzo and Jay Payne) allows her to add extra safety items to her car while still keeping it close to the 2,300-pound TAFC minimum weight.

Back in the saddle like Gene Autry, DeJoria hopes to pour it on in her shot at Indy glory. Her days of going bottoms-up are already behind her.

Payne relieved: Jay Payne bounced back quickly from his crash in Heartland Park Topeka last weekend. Though his FireIce Top Alcohol Funny Car is not in competition, it has already been front-halved at Murf McKinney’s shop, and crewmember extraordinaire J.R. Clark brought it to ORP at noon today. Payne will race at the Division 2 event in Atlanta next weekend and will go for his second Indy title in his Pro Modified entry.

Too cool for fuel: Top Alcohol Funny Car entries were banned from cooling their fuel in the staging lanes this July, and a rule was subsequently put in place that a team’s methanol must meet a minimum temperature when tested. 2008 runner-up Roger Bateman’s fuel was too cold before the first qualifying run, so he was forced to sit out. The Canadian team bounced back by beginning their weekend with a strong 5.62 in the second qualifying session. Though the fuel issue has been resolved, it leaves me to wonder how cold they keep their adult beverages in the pits.

Hutchmeier for hire? Dan Hutchmeier, who was an integral part of sidelined driver Cy Chesterman’s team along with Les Davenport, is lending a hand to veteran Vern Moats. Moats, one of the last known TAFC drivers to switch from shifting with handles to the conventional push-button setup (Bret Williamson still uses handles), entered the computer age by adding a RacePak data recorder this season.

Lewis is low: Though the Top Alcohol Dragsters only got one session today, Mike Lewis sits firmly on top with an outstanding 5.27 in Tom Conway’s A/Fueler. Lewis, a track manager for ORP in one of his many past lives, has a half-tenth on reigning world champ Bill Reichert. Lewis is a fairly new name as a TAD driver, but he has established an extensive drag racing pedigree. Part of the family that runs Maple Grove Raceway, Lewis currently holds the position of Sr. Vice President at Don Schumacher Racing. Additionally, his daughter Aly is the office manager at Alan Johnson/Al-Anabi Racing.

Blown crusaders: Blown alcohol drivers Jim Whiteley, Ken Perry, and Chris Demke take up the Nos. 3, 4, and 5 spots in the field with 5.3-second runs. All three drivers have something on the line. Whiteley, of course, is battling with Reichert in an attempt to win his first season title. Perry still owns the quickest timeslip among blown alcohol dragsters in history and wants to be the premier blown driver once more. Demke, whose Jerry Maddern-owned dragster won here with Darren Nicholson driving in 1998, is looking to earn his first win in a national event final on the biggest stage possible.

…and twins: Aussie twins Kate and Diana Harker are competing at the same event. They’ve done so before, but this is the first time that one of them is driving a family-owned entry. Diana is driving father Steve’s blown alcohol dragster, while Kate is driving Randy Meyer’s A/Fueler. Steve's Top Alcohol Funny Car and Diana's dragster are both tuned by Steve and run out of his trailer. Needless to say, Steve has his hands full. He also has the responsibility of preparing two race cars.

The countdown to the last race of the Countdown is on!

It’s that time of year again when we faithful NHRA reporters foray from the medium of print to bring you up-to-the-minute news and reports from the Mac Tools U.S. Nationals presented by Lucas Oil via the blogosphere. Phil Burgess, Candida Benson, Kevin McKenna, Kelly Wade, and I will seamlessly transition from being National DRAGSTER editors to being your online orators of ORP, the raconteurs of Raceway Park, the hosts of high-horsepower on high-speed Internet, the narrators of the Nationals, the Lords of Blogtown, if you will.

I, for one, can’t wait to exit the air taxi and step foot in the Midwest and venture about O’Reilly Raceway Park at Indianapolis for the most prestigious event of the year. Most racers claim that they go to the racetrack to see their friends. Well, the U.S. Nationals is like a big family reunion.

I also compare Indy to a big music festival that all your favorite artists are taking part in. Even though the race spans six days, you kind of have to time it so that you don’t miss the performers you came to see but still have time to check out everything on display, cruise the facility, and pick the occasions to take a load off. The biggest difference between the two events is that being in the pits at the drag races is like seeing your favorite bands backstage, with a few whaps of the throttle being the dress rehearsal before the show.

I’m going to keep better track of my time this year so I can come up with somewhat of an itinerary for like-minded racing fans and to make my use of time as efficiently as possible at future events. As long as the event is, I still leave feeling like I didn’t get to ride every roller coaster at an amusement park. There is also so much to see and do that intentions of waiting around for one thing in particular can make the Big Go seem like the Big Slow.

Between doing my regular job at a national event (covering Top Fuel, Top Alcohol Funny Car, and pieces of the overall event), blogging here, and a debilitating Facebook addiction (I blame you, Burgess), I expect the pace to be nothing short of frantic, which I enjoy. I’ve grown up with a drag racing sickness that gives me a twisted sort of joy out of trying to do a lot in a short period of time. Driving into the facility for the first time gives me a rush similar to a football player leaving the locker room and running through the tunnel before the game starts.

This weekend, you can expect me to post blogs that recap my experiences from the race, profile racers, throw tidbits at you, poke fun at myself and others, and include obscure pop-culture references. I’m committed to bringing you, the reader, the news as it happens. If Alan Johnson drops a wrench, you’ll be the first to know.

This is the one of only one or two races this year where I make ill-fated attempts to take photos to post them onto blog posts. I'm going to have to have Marc Gewertz or Jerry Foss refresh my memory, starting with where the button is on the camera that I need to hold to take pictures.

Please be sure to check out all of our blogs, which will have something for everybody coming from our different perspectives of the race. Phil is not only our boss; he’s our Pat Foster, our “Mr. Everything.” His experience and storytelling ability will offer compelling reading, as those of you who read his other blog already know. Candida gives a great firsthand account of the event from her end as well. The two can get pretty landlocked due to their duties to all things NHRA.com, but it gives them a great overall feel for the race from seeing much of it from the tower, and they also provide great insight from their individual escapades to the pits.

Kevin McKenna has been in his own version of horsepower heaven having spent the week in Indy, going to the Moto GP event last weekend. I’m sure the two-wheel enthusiast will have stories that include Valentino Rossi along with his usual, unparalleled insights on Pro Stock Motorcycle racing and the NHRA Mopar Hemi Challenge. If Charlie Westcott stubs his toe, you’ll find it on "K Mac’s" blog.

I’m always interested to read what Kelly Wade finds, as she is our bottomless well of enthusiasm that my cynical outer shell restrains me from matching. Her tales are endearingly wide-eyed, though she has gotten pretty keen on her favorite class. I may have to request her approval to converse with some of my companions in the Pro Stock pits.

I want everyone to feel free to send any questions or comments to blittlefield@nhra.com. Complaints can be sent there, too, but go easy on me.

I’m going to Indy with an open mind, a laptop, and some blank notepads ready to be filled. My agenda is loose because I’ll let the course of the event dictate the stories. As the great Snoop Dogg once said, “I don’t get ready, because I stay ready.”